Let(s) go...

There’s something with me and resignation. For reasons far beyond my control, I can’t seem to do it very openly. I wonder why? I spent all of today thinking how I would break the news to my boss. I passed by him several times but just couldn’t muster the courage to broach the issue. This, after dropping a significant hint to him on Friday evening. This guilt trip that I go through deep within is something so very hard to fathom.

Who am I answerable to? – No one
Is the length of my stay in the firm a concern? – Yes, but why, I can’t quite understand
Do I fear my boss? – No
Am I overtly sensitive about what he’ll say? – Partly yes, but should that over-rule the rest of it all.

Some people have vague tendencies and even weirder weaknesses. I’ve realized one of them in myself. I find it hard to let go. I preach it but fail to practice it. I reach out to people when I know they’re slipping away. I frown upon myself for moving on but eventually do by cursing the shit out of myself in the process.

What am I scared of? – The repercussions. Possibly yes.
Will there by any at all? – Not sure, but more often than not, I make them up and worry about them.

This thing about myself is really fascinating me.

I can do with a bit of learning on how to treat bygones to be bygones, and more importantly, when to make what a bygone…..