Sunday, January 28, 2007

What is strength?

We've all heard of physical strength, and we all do agree that its one form of strength that can truly be quantified. But, what about the other "strengths" that people talk about. The kinds related to your emotions, your mental and psychological state of mind and your being. Can this be quantified? If yes, are there defined yardsticks to quantify them. As I try to think more and more on these lines, somehow, I end up finding the whole reasoning extremely absurd.

At the outset, let me make my stance very clear on this one. Personally, I do not think this form of so called "strength" can ever be equated and frankly, no effort in this regard should be made as well.

Is not shedding tears in public a show of strength? Is hiding emotion a show of strength? Is living life without fear a show of strength? Is being completely disdainful and carrying a lackadaisical approach to situations a show of strength? Is passing off failures in life with a certain amount of carefree ness a sign of strength? Is being able to laugh off some of the toughest of situations, a sign of strength? On the contrary, is fear a sign of weakness? Is crying aloud at the loss of a loved one a sign of weakness? Is seeking for solace in other people a sign of losing strength? Is putting up a fearful face making no facades that you are genuinely feeling scared a sign of a deep internal weakness? If no, then what is? And for all those people who say no, I ask, "Aren't these the same tools you use to judge people of their strength!!!" Think about it. Even as you vehemently deny these charges now, sub consciously we all do it. For me, that's a very sad tale to tell. And if your answer is a undoubted YES, then is it justified?

As ironic as it may sound, and try as hard as we can to ignore it, the words speak for themselves. Yes, this is how we judge people these days. A child not openly grieving over the loss of his parent is told, "You handled it well, very well". Huh, I ask, "and how do you say that, dear Sir", and pat comes the reply, "well, by the way you've reacted to the whole situation", for which I in turn ask myself, "Does he even know the reactions going on within me?", "Are they even aware of the metamorphosis going through me right now", "Can anybody even try and put themselves in to my shoes right now and comprehend things just the way I'm doing?"

Well, it's a situation all of us go through at some point of time in our lives. But is the chemistry of it the same for all of us. No right, then why equate it at all. There is a certain amount of difference in the choice and usage of words here. Handling a tough situation well, is a sign of growing maturity, but doesn't necessarily classify as a show of strength. I do not one bit disagree that there isn't something called mental or emotional strength. What I disagree upon is the mechanism used to compare it with that of others, and in turn quantify it. Just as each one of us are genetically different from each other, so is our mental strength and this is something that should never be compared. So then, that compels me to ask you this; how can you go ahead and utter a statement like, "You showed tremendous strength today". What are the root level basics for making a judgment such as that?

Just as we live in a world where everything is made to feel larger than life, where people/things/situations are made that much more unreal, where no point in any given discussion, however irrelevant it may be, if left unturned, where no topic is not with it's share of pros and cons, where for the most idealistic of good situations, somebody would come out with ten flaws in it, we got to realize that we're bordering on that state on an issue as sensitive as this as well.

We as human beings have learnt to respect each others feelings and sentiments, so that we grow together in a cordial society which would reap peace, joy and happiness for our next generations to come. In the same breath, let us also realize that subjective issues such as emotional or mental or psychological being (I refrain from calling it “strength”) are best left to that individual to comprehend. For all you know, the person you really look up to as an epitome of emotional "strength" might just be the one living his/her deepest fears every night within him/herself. And that person could be you, me or maybe, the next one to read this post.

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9 comments:

APUGONNAB said...

Hmmm.. You havent defined what you mean by strength.. but, looking at what you say, i think its all inter-related, and at the same time, very different concepts.. society redefines a lot of things for us.. so, in one situation, crying in public may be a show of strength & in another, it shows fear.. what do you mean by it - thats the point we need to discuss!

Quintessential said...

Dude....very thought provoking indeed. Certainly u have given something to ponder bout. Never really thought crying could be a strength. But now i feel it depends on the situation and the stimulus. I dunno myself how to put a degree to this strength...may be someday someone will rightly quantify it.

AJ{ax} said...

@ appu
I kinda agree with you to a certain extent but not completely though. Yes, its true that i haven't defined the word strength myself, but thats mainly cuz I cannot express in words, what it means to be. In the same breath, I can also make sure that what society defines as strength is not something that goes down with me easily, and hence the article.

AJ{ax} said...

@ shinde
I hope too that someday someone would genuinely bring out a generic quantifying rule for this, cuz at the rate we are going, taking off on tangents of our own about this entire saga, it won't be too late before the entire essence of it is lost and we're still found discussing the same.

APUGONNAB said...

ok - so, what does the 'society' define as strength? & y is what 'society' defines affect you? (dnt give me the 'social animal' blah..).. & how can u not express in words about strength?

To me, its differs according to the situation (as it may to you as well).. strength is about courage, passion, standing for one's rights, voicing opinions, & so much more to it..

'If..' by Rudyard Kipling is also about strength to me..

AJ{ax} said...

@ appu
Y is what society defines affect you?
It doesn't affect me, but at the same time, just cuz it doesn't affect me, I wont allow society to go on branding events & happenings the way they feel like.
as for, "what society defines as strength?". Yes, as you say its a variable thing, but the point to be noted here is that it is extremely personal from individual to individual. The yardsticks that i use to define strength maybe different from yours. In that case, if you(society) were to walk up to me and say, "you showed strength", how the hell are u basing that judgment?

Tripti said...

Its easy to say how society defines something doesn't effect us. The truth is it does bother us. No doubt the yardsticks are different and it is wrong to assume otherwise.The truth is most of us waver between being strong and weak, but its personal and we just don't want people reading into our behavior, doesn't matter if they're right or wrong!

AJ{ax} said...

@ tripti
Purrfeeecttt. You've stolen the words from my mouth ! But as for society's words bothering us, that again comes down to our filtering levels. It may not be possible to filter 100% of society's words, but it is possible to come close, really close. But otherwise, every word of what you say is true!
SOCIETY reading into people's emotions and then making totally WRONG judgments outa it due to yardsticks they've defined for themselves is just totally UNACCEPTABLE !!!

AJ{ax} said...

@ tripti
Purrfeeecttt. You've stolen the words from my mouth ! But as for society's words bothering us, that again comes down to our filtering levels. It may not be possible to filter 100% of society's words, but it is possible to come close, really close. But otherwise, every word of what you say is true!
SOCIETY reading into people's emotions and then making totally WRONG judgments outa it due to yardsticks they've defined for themselves is just totally UNACCEPTABLE !!!