Lost....and....

Woke up with this feeling,
of having lost it.
Realized I needed it,
and tried looking for it.

Found illusionary bits of it,
but it never felt complete,
Tried to complete it,
but it just wouldn’t fit.

Looked at my reflection,
realized where it had gone.
I’d lost it within myself,
and was looking all around.

Gone it has,
far away from me.
For after all it does have a life,
devoid of me.

It’s not in my nature,
to just let it be.
So run behind it I do,
pulling it back towards me.

I’ve abused it hard,
and murdered it harder.
It’s a dead living being now,
It’s ghost hiding in my shadow.

I’ve realized its worth,
and how precious it is to me.
But I know if I find it,
A life in it will not be.

My search, I will continue,
and change I will.
So when I find it,
I’ll know how to preserve it.

My search I continued,
and found it, I did.
Tried to hold onto it,
But it was only pieces and bits.

I’ve lost it,
and I’ve found it,
But it’s hardly,
how I’d first seen it.